Growing up, I always aspired to be a doctor. I occasionally dabbled with the idea of being a professional singer, but as my tendency to be practical took over my inclination to dream those fluctuations became rarer and rarer–and eventually went away altogether. Either way, my overarching pursuit was towards a career that brought me real happiness. I had heard of and knew people who claimed to wake up every morning excited to go to work–I wanted to be one of those people.
There are many barriers to finding a career that brings you real happiness. One of those barriers is an inadequate knowledge of yourself. Within the current societal structures, you are ‘behind’ if you don’t have a direction by the age of sixteen.
A brief aside: at the age of sixteen I was still recovering from the trauma of a three-year stint with a mushroom cut. My priorities included (but were not limited to)–boys, playing music way too loud, attending as many parties as possible, finding a reliable ‘boot’, surviving grade eleven religion class and oh yea, boys. Occasionally I had the wherewithal to turn my gaze towards the future, but I certainly did not have the capacity to turn my gaze inwards and get to know myself–I’m not sure I even had the awareness to realize I didn’t know myself.
The point is, at sixteen I was way too young to know who I was–let alone what would bring me sustainable happiness decades into the future. So, I did what I think everyone does. I took my best guess. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that for me, sustainable happiness won’t necessarily be brought by my job title or degree of education, but the people and environment I am surrounded by.
The path is never linear.
Obviously, my journey is just beginning, and I have many things to learn along the way. The further I get into my journey, the more I understand the applicability of the above cliché. When I look back four years into the past (or even two), I realize that the Megan I was then could have never imagined the Megan I am now. Therefore, I am forced to realize that I will never be able to predict or imagine where I will be in years into the future. Life is unpredictable and uncertain. That statement is both threatening and inspirational all at once. The volatility of life can bring about unforeseen challenges, changes and even loss. That same volatility, though, can bring opportunity, self-discovery and growth.
As a child, I imagined sustainable happiness would be brought by my future career. I expected years and years of work to achieve this career and honestly–I was okay with that. I never imagined this type of happiness to be brought by a part-time or temporary position. There was also this expectation that this happiness would be suddenly realize; that one day I would be in a position where I felt a true sense of belonging. I neglected to acknowledge the greyness of the world. Almost nothing is black or white, most things exist in some sort of middle ground. There’s also no definition for the ‘perfect’ job–it is subjective, and you only discover what your perfect job is through experience.
I’m fortunate to already have a decade of work experience under my belt. I worked for my parents from the age of ten until the age of nineteen. I could write a book about that by itself–maybe a project for a future Megan to undertake. After that, I moved to Ontario and took a part-time position at a community-living centre that catered towards individuals with mental and developmental disabilities. Now, in my most recent position, I am working as a Summer Research Student on a team affiliated with McMaster University. Each of these positions offered their own lessons and their own insight into what would be my ‘perfect’ job. One of them especially, has really set the bar.
I won’t go too deeply into my time working for my parents–I have to save something for my future New York Times Bestseller. Basically, I worked in two different positions: store front and assistant general manager. Working in both of these positions afforded me a really well-rounded perspective of the business. I was able to spend time learning and refining my practical, service-based skills while also understanding why and how operational practices translated into margins.
While the skills and knowledge I gained were invaluable, working for my parents had some obvious complications: differing expectations and social isolation from coworkers. The social isolation was what was most challenging. As the boss’ daughter, I never really experienced the social aspect of team membership. Although I got along with my coworkers quite well, there was always an invisible barrier to real friendship. Me being the boss’ daughter abdicated me from ally ship, made it hard to trust me and made my intentions questionable. When I put myself into their shoes, it is easy to understand where they were coming from. I think I would have acted the same way in a similar situation.
In my next position at the community-living organization, I was finally given the opportunity to socialize at work. Although definitely not my desired career–I’m simply not cut out for it, I gained a lot from this position. The most notable benefits were the friendships I developed with my coworkers. Mental and developmental services is a tough industry, and the employees that work in the industry are resilient to match. Besides being resilient, they are among the kindest, hardest-working, most empathetic people that I know. These are people who have dedicated their career to helping the most vulnerable, and their selflessness often leaves me awestruck. They go above and beyond the requirements of their position, have a strong positive influence on the people whom they support. The onboarding process was incredibly unstructured and most training happened on the job; at the time I felt that I alone was responsible for my training. Looking back, however, I realize that most of my knowledge came through learning by example, and that all through the process I was being nurtured and supported by my senior colleagues. They extended the same compassion and patience to me that they extend to the people we support, and I will always be grateful for that. The lessons I learned (and will continue to learn) in this position go far beyond practice in the field and extend to my everyday life. My coworkers exemplify the calibre of people I want surround myself with, both at work and in my personal life.
While my colleagues were (and still are) the epitome of grace, there is an undesirable dynamic between frontline staff and management that was impossible to ignore. I don’t want to delve too far into it–I prefer to stay out of workplace politics. To keep it brief: management has made it very apparent that they did not fully appreciate their frontline workers for their contributions. While my house manager was fabulous and a true advocate for the staff she presided over, the overall structure of the organization justified and normalized employer neglect. Besides the pay being well below standard, employees were not even afforded something as simple as a break area. In such a stressful industry, employee welfare should be recognized for what it is–integral and a matter of highest priority. While the organizational structure seems to be slowly shifting in favour of the frontline staff, the process is slow and there is still much progress to be made. I have taken a leave of absence over the summer, but at this point I am unsure if I will return. If I do, it will because of the loyalty I feel towards the people that we support and my fellow frontline workers.
Cut to today. I am working remotely as a research assistant with BDG Research Group. (Check out their website https://bdg.mcmaster.ca/ for some really cool projects and useful resources!) The group is based out of McMaster University, and mostly focuses on projects relating to long-term care and quality improvement. The work that they are doing is truly significant, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the tools and resources they have developed one day dominate the healthcare system.
Most importantly, however, behind the incredible initiatives and projects is a team of dedicated, caring and compassionate individuals. Over the past few months, I have witnessed these qualities first-hand. From the Research Director, to the Research Coordinators, to the Master’s students, everyone I have worked with personally has prioritized my learning. Previously, I have worked in work environments where a lack of understanding was viewed in a negative light. In this position, inexperience is viewed as an opportunity for education. I am actively encouraged to try new things, ask questions and make mistakes. My supervisors provide me with quality feedback to hone and improve my skills, and intentionally assign me to diverse projects to maximize my exposure.
In previous work environments, there has been a definitive separation of power. That separation permeated the social structure of the group, and dictated the level of respect that was due to each caste. Through experience and speaking with other people, I have concluded that this is typically the norm. If that’s true, then the BDG Research group has ignored or redefined all standards. They have created an atmosphere that facilitates equity, education and collaboration. Although I often look towards my senior team members for guidance and mentorship, I have never been treated as ‘less than’. While each team member has their own title and responsibilities, that is as far as the hierarchical structure seems to go. I have been granted a large amount of autonomy, and feel as though (no matter how small) my contributions never go unnoticed.
I always imagined my ‘perfect’ job would come decades down the road; I imagined that I would have to wait years and years for a position that brought me daily happiness and excitement. So, you can probably picture my surprise when my perfect job simply fell into my lap.
The knowledge I have gained from this experience extends far beyond what I have learned explicitly. I have been challenged, encouraged, supported and appreciated. While I am not entirely sure that research is my calling, I am sure that the BDG Research Group has set the bar for the type of team I want to belong to. It seems that sometimes, fulfillment is less about the work you are doing, and more about the people you are surrounded by while you are doing it. No matter what the future holds–whether in this position or succeeding it–my experience as a part of this team has been (and continues to be) truly influential, and I will look back on it with nothing but gratitude.